I came across this recipe the other day. It doesn't have the ingredients "anonymous" was looking for, but it sure sounds fun to make....ENJOY!
THE BEST YET FRUIT CAKE RECIPE
1 cup water
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups of flour
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 cup chopped nuts
1 gallon brandy
Sample the brandy to check for quality.
Take out a large bowl.
Check the brandy again to make sure that it is of the
highest quality......Pour 1 level cup and drink.
Repeat if you're not sure.
Turn on the electric mixer and beat 1 cup of butter in a
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again......Make sure the brandy
is still okay. Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixer.
Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it
loose with a drewscriver......Sample the brandy again to
check for tonsisticity.
Next sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Who
cares......Check the wine.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add 1 table. Spoon. Of sugar or flour or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake pan to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw one bowl out the window.
Check the brandy again. Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?