Well the weeeks went by and there was I A wreck - by any reckoning Sure I lost two stone, sitting by the phone But the silence from France was deafening Oh my breath I bated, for the post I waited All day and all night long But ne'er a letter nor a card came up the yard From Chantal de Champignon
And then I tried to make a pass at her, via our ambassador I explained I was besotted He was very sympathetic, but said something about ethics And he told me to get knotted And then I hired a spy, whose fees were high To assist my search along Well, he collected his fees but came up with no leads On Chantal de Champignon