The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #77338   Message #1378476
Posted By: John M.
13-Jan-05 - 05:18 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Add: 'Craven A' Sing it anyone?
Subject: ADD: Craven A
Hello everyone,

If you are easily offended, please STOP READING.   This thread is for mature audiences only.  Please don't post "dreadful song" or "worst song written" as you are not helping. 

Below is a traditional bawdy song titled: "Craven A"  

Do you sing this song?  If so when/where did you learn it?

If you know this song -- or any bawdy songs -- would you please consider doing a telephone interview with me for folkloristic purposes?   If you would like more information, you can send me an email me at john@mehlberg.com

Any help is appreciated.

Sincerely,

John Mehlberg
~
My, mostly traditional, bawdy songs, toasts and recitations website: www.immortalia.com
~

                     CRAVEN A

Now gather round you fellows and if you'll be still [???]
I'll tell you of a bastard born at Bellevue Hill, [???]
Born at Boswell Hill, but raised in Camberwell, [???]
And the first three words he uttered were "Bloody Fucking Hell"

Chorus:

Craven A, never heard of fornication,
Craven A, never has wet dreams,
Craven A, quite content with masturbation,
Fooling with his foreskin in the school latrines.

When he went to Geelong Grammar there was much ado, [??; HELP...muddled.]
He buggared all the masters and the prefects too,
They finally expelled him, so the records say,
For tossing off the Duke of York on Founder's Day.

Chorus.

His entrance to University was quite grotesque
He went and laid his penis on his tutor's desk,
Said his tutor "If it falls of at a later date
Please inform me and I'll use it as a paper weight!"

Chorus.

While rowing for the Varsity on boat race day
He lost his oar and masturbated all the way
They won by half a length but were disqualify
For rogering the women on the Middlesex side.

Chorus.

The landlady's daughter, Millie, was as nice as can be,
She always brought her cunt up with a cup of tea,
She'd been through her so often that the courts declare
Her vagina constitutes a legal thoroughfare.

Final Chorus:

Craven A, never heard of fornication,
Craven A, now he has wet dreams,
Craven A, not content with masturbation,
Gets his urges as regular as you and me.


Note: This version is transcribed from the Boulevard Records LP titled STAG PARTY.  This traditional bawdy song is quite rare and has only been recorded twice commercially.  Ron Edward has this collected in his Australian Bawdy Ballads by Rams Skull Press pg 45-6.  He lists the tune as "Steamboat Bill".  The Fleet Air Arm Song Book [ca 1979] has it and so the 2003 book Bawdy Ballads and Dirty Ditties of the Wartime R.A.F.

This song is not very popular. I have a few people who say they learned the song in England at "Rugger-Bugger" universities but have been informed that the tune is different than the one in the Stag Party recording.