Hello friends. I'd like to introduce you to Ukriah Flemboggish. Famous channeler of animal entities.
Mr. Flemboggish has graciously agreed to do a sitting for us at MOAB. I will be his assistant by writing what he says while he is in trance.
So, without further delay, please welcome Mr. Ukriah Flemboggish.

Ukriah: "Hello good folks at Mudcat Cafe. I am pleased to be here. Tonight I will communicate with the former pet of famous poet, writer, Suzette Flippmeover's Pom-Poo, Barf." Now if you will permit me....

Rustic:- Mr Flemboggish is now settling down to go into a state of trance. A zone unknown to most.

Ukriah now channeling Barf: " I am here. Barf. Thank you for hearing me and letting me tell my story to my former caregiver, Suzette how my life was with her.
First thing I want you to know, I didn't mind doing those stupid dog tricks, like that one you had me do where I had to be still with a piece of food on my nose, and wait patiently for you to tell me I could finally eat a tiny morsal of cheese, after waiting five fucking minutes! No that didn't bother me.

Ukriah/Barf: The few things that did bother me was when you rubbed my nose in my own piss. Now that was upsetting. I sat and watched you piss in the house and when I did it I got my nose rubbed in it and tossed outside.
It bothered me when you talked to me in that stupid child voice of yours. Come here beebee, oh you such a cute little beebee, ooch-e-choochie kind of crap. Even when I gained age over you Suzette, you continued this annoying baby talk. Where was the respect?
You continually thought you could tell me what to do. Remember all those times I ignored you? Those were the fun times how easy I could piss you off!
It also bothered me when you would refer to human men as dogs, and human women as bitches. Was that supposed to be an insult? What was the deal here Suzette? I have never once referred to my friends as humans. No respect.

Ukriah/Barf: One more thing. I loved it when you started feeding me that canned, soft dog food. That's when my teeth started going to hell and I lost most of them. Then you thought you were being good to me by feeding me a bone once in awhile, and I had no teeth left to chew them.
Now you know why I buried all my bones. No respect.
Suzette, it really is okay. I hold no grudges. You tried your best and I was devoted and loved you. Thanks for all those years of caring.
Signing out, Barf.

Rustic: Ukriah is coming out of his trance. He looks a little dazed but doing fine. "Ukriah, I'd like to thank you for being here tonight and letting us all in on this session. For all of us here at the MOAB and Mudcat, I say goodnight."