ALLLLLRRRRRIIIIGGGHHHTTT YYYY'AAAALLL!!!!

Áine bursts through the swinging doors of the kitchen and jumps on top of the bar . . .

'Y'all want some DEE-SERT? I'll give ya DEE-SERT . . .'

She whips off her white apron (liberally stained with chili) and stands there proudly with her entire body covered with sequins -- the red, white and blue of the Texas State Flag covering her down to her thighs (and then a couple of shamrocks on her knees for good measure . . .) Pulling the styro-stetson off of Spaw's head and grabbing the bottle of rum, she takes a big swig of the bottle, reaches under the bar, and brings up a big ole strang of . . .

'SOPAPILLAS -- I GOT YER RED HOT SOPAPILLAS RIGHT HERE!!!' Lonesome EJ's got the jars of honey there, so y'all just come on down and git some' . . .

SUDDENLY -- red lights flash and sirens sound outside the door of the Tavern -- M. McConaughey bursts through the door, sans clothes, carrying bongo drums, jumps on the bar with Áine and yells, 'Digeridoos, straws, an irish coffee jacuzzi??? LET'S PPPAAARRRTTTEEE!!!