From The Lester S. Levy Collection of Sheet Music:

I WANT TO BE A JANITOR'S CHILD
(Words, Irene Franklin. Music, Burt Green. 1911.

We live in a big apartment house with eighteen elevators,
And butlers, maids, and chauffeur men, and fifteen million waiters.
You can't slide down the banisters, nor play jacks on the floor.
Ma says it's very elegant, but I like the house next door;
'Cause there's a little girl lives in there. She's just as big as me.
She's got the grandest yellow dog, and a kitten full of fleas.
She rides up on the dumbwaiter and she don't wear fussed up clothes.
You see, her pa is a janitor, and goodness only knows!

CHORUS: I wish my pa was a janitor man,
Then I could run for beer with a nice tin can,
Sample all the goodies that the grocer brings,
Dig into the ashcan and find good things.
I wouldn't have to ride in a smelly auto'bile.
For an ice wagon ride I am wild.
Why was I born with a broker for a pa,
When I want to be a janitor's child?

The janitor's child next door buys hokey-pokey from a Guinea;
I eat my cream with a plate and spoon, so's not to spoil my pinee.
We go to Europe once a year and the little girl next door
Can go to Coney Island twice a week and sometimes more.
I have to eat what's good for me. My milk is pasteurized.
My bread comes rolled in paper and my eggs are scandalized.
My nurse is antiseptic and my clothes is hard and firm.
If I grow up to be eighteen, I'm going to eat a germ. CHORUS