About "changing" one's partner: It doesn't work that way, tho your boundaries on what you consider acceptable behavior toward you are your busniness. It is workable and within your rights to say, "I do not want to be treated this way [specify] and would prefer to be treated this way [specify]." Or, "when this happens [specify] I feel like this [specify]." And/or: "When this happens [specify] or when I feel like this [specify], from now on I will respond by removing myself from that behavior [or other specified self-protective action]."

If it is that you are the partner who has moved to the other partner's culture, and are a minority there, then you have all the issues to deal with that any minority does in any culture-- including how to remain your full self while refusing to feel victimized.... how to remember you're fine and it's just cultural difference..... how to receive equitable treatment without yourself becoming a victimizer....

Your best allies in dealing with this are going to be other people of your own culture of origin also living in this other culture-- emotional support, wisdom on strategies within the partnership and in the larger society, etc.

One thing that will NOT work, if this is part of the problem, is expecting your partner to advocate for/defend you to others. Love you, yes; see your best, yes; hold up your best to others, yes of course; but defend? Not a helpful path.

If you are the one coming into this from another culture, then it's reasonable to take the approach that you are still learning how to deal with the "new" culture..... how to appreciate its best and deal with the rest.

~Susan