MudGuard - Yes, Your Honour, guilty ...

Next one about chickens crossing the road:

When there were more than 100 automobiles in Frankfurt/Main, such kind of cars weren't still known in the remote mountains of my home country.
Once a tourist in an automobile drove through a small village and ran over a chicken just crossing the road.
He stopped and carried the avine corpse to the farm where he had seen the chicken come out.
"Sorry, dear man," he told the farmer, "I just ran over your chicken and I want to pay for it."
"That isn't our chicken" the peasant answered.
"But I saw it just coming out of your farm, and I want to pay for it!"
"No, it can't be one of our chickens. Such flat chickens we don't have over here."