The most obnoxious famous person I ever met was this Hollywood starlet who starred in a sit-com that I really enjoyed.

So, I started to write her fan letters to let her know that I really liked her work on TV, and that her eyes were real pretty and I imagined that she smelled good....and that I imagined that every night.

I soon found out her email address through a fan website and so I found that it was faster to email (and more earth-friendly too -- as I was wasting at least 1 ream of paper per month to send the letters via snail mail).

I would find out venues where she might attend -- openings, plays, photo ops, -- and I would park outside and wait for her along with the paparazzi people. When I would see her I would scream her name. I think she looked over at me once. That was when I got my first inkling that she might be, you know, obnoxious. She wasn't smiling at my obvious affection.

She really showed her true colors though, when I went through all the trouble of finding the address to her summer home. I spent most of one afternoon, and all of that night writing "I LOVE YOU" in red paint on her sidewalk to greet her when she arrived home. Did she appreciate the effort though? Yeah, the snob appreciated me with a restraining order.

The obnoxious bitch.