From Ed Cray's The Erotic Muse, 2nd ed.:

Life Presents a Dismal Picture

...It is generally sung to the tune of "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing"):


      [A]
Life presents a dismal picture.
Life is full of tears and gloom.
Father has a penile stricture.
Mother has a fallen womb.
In the corner sits my sister,
Never laughs and never smiles.
What a dismal occupation:
Cracking ice for father's piles.

Brother Bill has been deported
For a homosexual crime.
Sister Sue has been aborted
For the sixth or seventh time.
Little Luke is slowly dying
For he's always having fits.
Everytime he laughs, he vomits;
Every time he farts, he shits.

    [B]
Life presents a dismal picture.
Dark and dreary as the tomb
Father's got an anal stricture.
Mother's got a fallen womb.

Sister Sue has been aborted
For the forty-second time.
Brother Bill has been deported
For a homosexual crime.

Nurse has chronic menstruation
Never laughs and never smiles.
Mine's a dismal occupation:
Cracking ice for grandpa's piles.

In a small brown paper parcel,
Wrapped in a mysterious way,
Is an imitation rectrum,
Granddad uses twice a day.

Joe, the postman, called this morning,
Stuck his cock through the door.
We could not, despite endearment,
Get it out till half-past four.

Even now the baby's started
Having epileptic fits.
Every time it coughs it spews.
Every time it farts it shits.

Yet we are not broken-hearted,
Neither are we up the spout:
Aunty Mabel has just farted,
Blown her cunt hole inside out.

Legman terms this a recitation in his Horn Book (p. 422). It has, however, acquired various melodies to which it may be sung, and portions of it turn up in other bawdy, quatrain ballads.