Today is Groundhog Day. I hope you northerners had a good one but, ya know, Groundhog Day is a pretty meaningless occurence for those of us living in the deep south where there are no groundhogs.

To remedy this oversight, I propose that tomorrow, February 3, be proclaimed "Armadillo Day". I'm still working out the details as to what the armadillo will predict and exactly how he will go about doing his predicting. Maybe something like "If the armadillo sees his shadow..." Nah! That won't work. Armadillos are damned near blind. He'd never see his shadow under any circumstances. Oh! Here ya go! "If the armadillo crosses the road without being hit by a car..." Nah! Let's stick with things that might actually happen.

Well, it's pretty obvious that it's not gonna work. I mean, the armadillo is the stupidest mammal on the face of the earth. Might as well try to get a rock to fetch a stick.

How about Possum Day? We've got lots of possums too. Nah! Possums are just as blind as armadillos. And they aren't exactly champions at crossing the road either. Heck, they're not much more than armadillos with fur.

Maybe we'll just call Tweed and see if the buzzards have started roosting on his lawn chairs yet. Then if thy're roosting we could say that there's some underlying cosmic bullshit meaning, and if they're not roosting we could say there's some other underlying cosmic bullshit meaning. Yeah! That'll do. And we could call it... Tweed Day!