We have a dear old father
To whom we dearly pray
He has a set of whiskers
They're always in the way

Cho:

Oh, they're always in the way,
The cows eat them for hay,
They hide the dirt on father's shirt,
They're always in the way.

We have a dear old mother,
With him at night she sleeps.
She wakes up in the morning
Eating shredded wheat.

We have a dear old brother,
He has a Ford machine.
He uses father's whiskers
To strain the gasoline.

...From the IOCA "Song Fest," from '59. There's about 10 or 12 more verses, but that's enough to type at a time... ^^^