I play golf about as often as I hunt dinosaurs with a spatula. Yet I have a couple dozen golf balls (some that I'm told are quite expensive) in a container on my kitchen table. Starting about the end of March I'll start collecting more -- I think that they might be like mushrooms and pop up in my back yard when Spring comes. I was going to seed them around the golf course to confuse the golfers, but I now realize that golfers are already confused enough and if I did that they might not be able to find their way home. Then I'd have all these golfers wandering around at night, their plaintive cries of "Fore!" disturbing my sleep.

Maybe I'll open a Used Golf Ball Stand instead.


(Did anyone notice the subtle way I worked a spatula into this? Didja?)