Yo, Lissen up all you youngun's. We've made a real mess of this place (after swearing that we'd straighten out the mess that our parents made before us.) We're counting on you to pick up after us. After all, that's only fair. We've been picking up after you ever since you were kneehigh to a grasshopper.

If you're going to do that, you'll have to extend your right hand and reach out to help someone. That's right... remove it from your crotch. And, if you want to hear someone else talking, you'll have to take the earphones off. And, instead of having that scantily clad Britney Spears poster in your bedroom, go out and buy one of Mother Theresa.

And while you're at it... remember. Beat may be the thang, but melody is still cool.

Elder Razzbone