It's me, Shane. They are letting me use the computer in, like, the liberry here. I worked out a deal with officer Dana and she is givin' me 15 minutes here from, like 6pm. Man, I gotta tipe fast, eh?
So, like, it aint' that bad here. But it could be better. The food is okay. The room ain't the best but it looks way better than our place, I'm tellin' ya! Me and Don weren't talkin' the first night and it did not look good. We were majorly pissed, cos it was mostly HIS fault what happened. He got the idea to jump the school bus and we would not of got caught if we had stuck with the pickup, eh? That's, like, my take on it. The school bus was goin' too far, eh!
Don doesn't agree. He syas it was MY fault! I can't flippin' beelEEVE he would say that. But I understand he is upset cos he is gonna lose his job and all. So I ain't holdin' no gruge against him over this. But he IS wrong, cos it was his fault.
Anyway, we had a big row about it on the 2nd day and almost come to blows till this big guy in the next cell called "Snake" said if we didn't shut up he was gonna "settle" with us at exercise period.
We didn't want to hurt him, so we, like, shut up, eh?
So, lemme see...well, I met officer Dana and she is really cool. She is good lookin' in her uniform and all, and she is tough but nice. I would think about datin' officer Dana if we was both on the outside. Maybe. Anyway, she brung 3 other cops who wanted to see me...and get this...get my flippin' AUTOGRAPH! I kid you not, eh?
They said they heard of me. "You're Blind DRunk in Blind River" ain'tcha?" says the one cop. They're all grinnin'.
"Yup. That's me." I says, tryin' to be, like, cool about it.
They took my flippin' AUTOGRAPH! They say I'm a household name among cops by now.
This is good. I may get to meet Shania one day if this keeps up.
Geez. I got 5 minutes left.
Well, Officer Dana took down notes on what we done at the beer stores and all, and I tried to, like, alert her to the, like, crisis of the comin' beer shortage, eh? She listened. I don't know if she believes it, but she listened. I begged her to let me on the Net so's I could talk to my frineds out there who are worried about me, eh?
Well, she is okay, cos she arranged for me to use this here computer at the liberry as long as I don't call up no porno sites.
They were ticked about the phone call I made to the sex line but that was a accident. I was tryin' to call my friends and I thought the nubmer was on thsi paper I ahd but it was the other pi3ce of papoer in my pocket, aso I hphoned the sex line instead. Then I figgered, might as well go for it. I was on the line 15 minutes before they figgered it out and stopped me.
Officer Dana says I should not have done that, and Iguess she is right. She wants to reform me. I am willin' to let her try. She is cool. Tough but nice. Well, I have got 30 seconds. Geez.
Okay...like...stay cool everyone and sendthem cards and letters! I will be back. I luv all of ya. Fer sure, eh? Bye!