And there I was, thinking that it was going to be like the joke I heard Dave Allen tell (I believe it came from another time and place, but here goes anyway.

A West Indian was visiting Northern Ireland, and on Sunday, looked around for a church most like the evangelical church he worshipped in at home. As luck would have it, the one he found was that led by one Dr. Paisley, but as he went to the door, he was turned away, with the explanation that the church was full.

The next Sunday, still in town, he returned, earlier, but only to find himself told the church was full again.

The same thing happened the third Sunday, and he began to feel in need of support, so he started to pray, "God, will you help me to get into the church to worship you? I've been trying to get in for three weeks."

And a voice came down from above, "I can't help you, son. I've been trying to get in there for twenty years."

Except that it's not exactly Unionist, is it? The word, you will appreciate, carries a different set of meanings over here. Seriously inappropriate for Big Mick.

Penny