Just to clarify the situation. My brother-in-law Dean asked to be kept on life support, so it is his choice. Of course, nothing is guaranteed. Before the pneumonia, he was making a reasonable recovery from his last problem, was getting around reasonably well with a small oxygen tank, and even though he is unlikely to ever be able to breathe without assistance, there is still hope that he can resume a fairly normal life.
Many years ago, I regularly went and performed for a group called Better Breathers. All of them had lung problems of one kind or another, and most of them were carrying small oxygen tanks. They were living fairly normal lives, but couldn't go anywhere where someone was smoking. They really appreciated the music.
There is also a man in the Men's Chorus I sing in, who often sang next to me. He had serious lung problems and reached a point where he was so weak, he couldn't even lift his hand to shake hands and was confined to a wheel chair. Ruth and I used to go visit him in the hospital, and it looked like he'd never walk again. At one point, he was scheduled (and waiting for) a lung transplant. It's been a long haul for him, but he is back in church, very active as a Deacon and going to visit the sick in the hospital. He has been using a portable oxygen tank from time to time, but there have also been times when he's recovered enough so that he doesn't use the oxygen and is talking about rejoining the Men's Chorus.
I realize that there are more depressing stories than hopeful ones, but I also have seen the medical profession completely dumbfounded by what some people see as miraculous recoveries. Two days ago, the wife of a dear friend of ours came home from the hospital. It really looked like we would lose her. She too has emphysema and serious heart problems. She had become so anemic that she could no longer walk without assistance. But, she seems to be regaining her strength, and is breathing well enough so that she doesn't have to go on to oxygen.
There's no need for believing what the cause of a seemingly miraculous recovery is. It's perfectly logical to just accept it as a miss-diagnosis of the medical profession. They are certainly known to do that. I am not expecting anyone to believe what I believe. But, to know that my brother-in-law was a day away from having life support turned off, and now see that he has hope is a great, great joy. And I think anyone can understand that. I'm so sorry that things turned out so terribly for your father, Sorcha. But, no one can know how the choices we make in life will turn out. You just have to make what seems to be the best choice.
And so we rejoice, knowing that tomorrow is not promised to any of us. All the more reason to cherish today...