Jerry, I'm glad you got the Lonnie Donegan CD. When you play it, I am sure you will gain a new respect for him---a guy I know you were influenced by.
I went through a somewhat similar situation with my mother, so I know a bit about how your family feels, especially Dean's wife. Be strong. Know that whatever happens is for the best. Let your family wrap themselves in their own and God's love. It will make either outcome bearable.