The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #78521   Message #1412463
Posted By: Pogo
16-Feb-05 - 06:51 PM
Thread Name: BS: Crap Full Circle
Subject: BS: Crap Full Circle
I think this pretty much covers every single BS thread in Mudcat effectively...enjoy and don't get yer knickers in a bunch, it's not meant to be taken seriously XOP

* Taoism: S#!t happens.

* Confucianism: Confucius say, "S#!t happens."

* Buddhism: If s#!t happens, it isn't really s#!t.

* Zen Buddhism: S#!t is, and is not.

* Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of s#!t happening?

* Hinduism: This s#!t has happened before.

* Islam: If s#!t happens, it is the will of Allah.

* Islam #2: If s#!t happens, kill the person responsible.

* Islam #3: If s#!t happens, blame Israel.

* Catholicism: If s#!t happens, you deserve it.

* Protestantism: Let s#!t happen to someone else.

* Presbyterian: This s#!t was bound to happen.

* Episcopalian: It's not so bad if s#!t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

* Methodist: It's not so bad if s#!t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

* Congregationalist: S#!t that happens to one person is just as good as s#!t that happens to another.

* Unitarian: S#!t that happens to one person is just as bad as s#!t that happens to another.

* Lutheran: If s#!t happens, don't talk about it.

* Fundamentalism: If s#!t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)

* Fundamentalism #2: If s#!t happens to a televangelist, it's okay.

* Fundamentalism #3: S#!t must be born again.

* Judaism: Why does this s#!t always happen to us?

* Calvinism: S#!t happens because you don't work.

* Seventh Day Adventism: No s#!t shall happen on Saturday.

* Creationism: God made all s#!t.

* Secular Humanism: S#!t evolves.

* Christian Science: When s#!t happens, don't call a doctor - pray!

* Christian Science #2: S#!t happening is all in your mind.

* Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this s#!t.

* Quakers: Let us not fight over this s#!t.

* Utopianism: This s#!t does not stink.

* Darwinism: This s#!t was once food.

* Capitalism: That's MY s#!t.

* Communism: It's everybody's s#!t.

* Feminism: Men are s#!t.

* Chauvinism: We may be s#!t, but you can't live without us...

* Commercialism: Let's package this s#!t.

* Impressionism: From a distance, s#!t looks like a garden.

* Idolism: Let's bronze this s#!t.

* Existentialism: S#!t doesn't happen; s#!t IS.

* Existentialism #2: What is s#!t, anyway?

* Stoicism: This s#!t is good for me.

* Hedonism: There is nothing like a good s#!t happening!

* Mormonism: God sent us this s#!t.

* Mormonism #2: This s#!t is going to happen again.

* Wiccan: An it harm none, let s#!t happen.

* Scientology: If s#!t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.

* Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< S#!t happens.

* Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our s#!t?

* Jehovah's Witnesses #3: S#!t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.

* Moonies: Only really happy s#!t happens.

* Hare Krishna: S#!t happens, rama rama.

* Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this s#!t!

* Zoroastrianism: S#!t happens half on the time.

* Church of SubGenius: BoB s#!ts.

* Practical: Deal with s#!t one day at a time.

* Agnostic: S#!t might have happened; then again, maybe not.

* Agnostic #2: Did someone s#!t?

* Agnostic #3: What is this s#!t?

* Satanism: SNEPPAH T!#S.

* Atheism: What s#!t?

* Atheism #2: I can't believe this s#!t!

* Nihilism: No s#!t.

* And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: S#!t happens-one day at a time!