Bend over and have doctor/very good friend shove an apple up your rectum, followed by a cookie 30 seconds later.
Repeat whole process one day later.
Repeat whole process one day after that.
Repeat whole process every day for one week.
At the end of a week, after the apple is rammed home, the doctor/very good friend reaches for the hammer and readies him/herself. When the tapeworm pokes his head out and demands the regular cookie it is accustomed to, the doctor/very good friend clobbers it with the hammer and pulls it the rest of the way out and disposes of it in whatever fashion seems appropriate.