1. Will we raise nightcrawlers or worms for our living? Wigglers. Nitecrawlers is too soft. Wigglers stays on th' hook better.
2. Will you promise to paint the trailer every 15 years if it needs it or not? I'll do better thun thet. I'll slap a coat uh CoolCoat on it ebver uther year.
3. Will you grow the potatos and corn and keep the still in sanitary and good operating order? Not only th' still, but th' Meth lab too!
4. Will you promise to make me laugh everyday by doing a chicken dance with the roosters barenaked? I awreddy duz thet ebver day.
5. Will you tell me about your manhood and is your brothers bigger? Well, mine looks sorta like whatchacall a Keelbasa. Sheney's, it sorta looks like a Vyannee sausage.
6. Will you brush your teeth at least once a week? Don' need to. I puts 'em in thet Poleedent stuff ebver nite.
7. Will you cry with me when I'm sad, laugh with me when I'm happy, warm me when I'm cold, feed me when I'm hungry, and love me when I'm horny? Th' las' one.
8. Can we have rocking chairs on the porch and drink home-made wine, wrestle in the lawn and eat monkey and swine? Shore. But I ain't nebver et no monkey. You know how t' cook it?
9. Do you expect me to make you a cambric shirt? No. Dunno whut it iz so how'm I s'posed t' 'spect ya t' meck one?
10. Will you plan spontaneous trips to places unknown and swim with the beavers, ride the camels and ostriches, climb in the trees of Borneo with the orangutan, sleep with the rhinos , catpult with the eagles, and play accordion with the orchestra? Dunno, but we sho' nuff kin swim wif th' water mocassins, go muddin' in th' 4WD, sleep wif th' pit bulls an' pick th' banjer on th' back porch.