Gnu - Hey, man, right flippin' on! I figger to get out in, like, a few weeks probally. I am on my best behavyer here, eh? Me and Don will come out fer a visit when we can. Be sure to store up lots of beer, cos it is gonna run out soon! Maybe in a year or less, eh? Look, man, if the flippin' hockey season can get cancelled, ANY flippin' thing is possible!
Martin FLIPface Gibson! You can just flip off you flip-faced son of a flippin' skank! I am in this here jail becoz I had the smarts to know that beer was gonna run out soon, and I took the flippin' bull by the horns and took ACTION, Dude! That's right. Without me and Don, Blind River could end up without beer soon. I figger people woudl lose hope and kill themselves if that happened, and I ain't gonna stand by and do nothin' eh? They've alreddy had hockey took away! Enuff is enuff! If Don didn't heist the bus we w3ouldn't of got caugth anyway. It was a good plan. You don't flippin' impress me. You are a big empty nothin', like a bottle that got drunk dry and was left layin in the woods for a year or two and has a flippin' dirty little mouse livin' in it now. You are useless, man. Useless.
Ms Azizi - Look, um...I think you got the wrong Shane. I don't dismember you. Or maybe I do. Anyways, Don is the OLDER brother here, he ain't my baby brother. And he's bald. Ha! Ha! I ain't, cos I have got more pestosterone than he does, eh? That's my theery. You keep talkin' about God and I don't know what to say, eh? I mean, I have prayed a few times, but it was mostly to the porselin god, know what I mean? It was sincere prayer, but I don't know that it got me anywheres, cos I notice things were pretty much the same after as they were before, eh? You can't get a zebra to change his spots, eh? You can't learn a old dog a new language. I figger that for me to do like you say would be out of, like, character. And God would not like that. Cos I am who I am. God would think it wasn;t me if I started to act like someone else. That could lead to big trouble. I might get blaned for some kind of huge, major sin, like bannin' sex movies off TV or somethin'. Then I could get, like, condemmmed to infernal hellfire.
On the other hand, I might meet some cool deceesed heavy metal rockers in hell, so...
Well, lemme think about it, okay?
Look, are you a nun? I have seen nuns. They look kinda like penguins, but they are harmless. I am basically in favour of nuns, I guess.
WEll...not much real news here. Officer Dana ain't here today. I miss her. Some bolthole said she ain't female. Whoever said that is a flippin' loser, and I hope I get a chance to kick his sorry ass one day! Oh yeah, it was Bobert. Bobert, you are a flippin' loser. I am willin' to overlook it this time if you promise not to say such total BS again. Don't test me, man.
Snake has a buddy called McTeel. McTeel says he has killed 10 men. I don't believe it. He is a mean-lookin', skinny, flip-faced bolthole of a dogflipper with the personality of one of them wolverine things on the day after the party. I hope he slips and breaks his flippin' neck! They are washin' the floors again, so maybe he will. We'll see.
Don and me got a package from Blind River from our buddies. In it: a centerfold of Pamela Anderson (awright!), some Red Rose Tea, a copy of the Watchtower (gimme a flippin' break!), and 2 condums, for flip's sake!!! What the flip am I supposed ta do with condums in jail???? Them guys are major boltholes. But at least they care enuff to send somethin'. I am touched. Seriously.