"Renounce the Devil and all his works ? This is no time to be making fresh enemies !" - Voltaire (allegedly)

"The rebels couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..." - General A.P. Sedgewick, commanding VI Corps of the Union Army in 1864.

According to Alfred Marx, the famous Jewish teacher Rabbi Lipzin said as he lay dying, "Life is like a barrel of water." Then he lapsed into a coma. His perplexed students, unable to fathom his meaning, shook him back into consciousness and asked him what he meant. He said, "OK. So life isn't like a barrel of water".