Kiss the gunner's daughter   

(Inspired by a visit to a Hertford folk club, this sea-shanty may be sung to the tune of Oh Susannah)

To be a sailor big and bold
that was the life for me
To go aloft and reef the sails
above a stormy sea
But up there in the rigging
in a Force 9 gale
The wind can play havoc
with a trendy ponytail.

Chorus
Heave and haul away!
Let the main sheet fly!
Kiss the gunner's daughter
and we'll pump the bilges dry.

We beat the French and Spanish
by spiking up our guns
With bully beef and biscuit
- it gave them all the runs.
Twenty days to round the Horn
soaked in sweat and spray
But we were never seasick -
more than twenty times a day

Heave and haul away etc

We were into body art
with tattoos on our skin
Some had naked ladies
or names of next of kin.
The bosun had a hunting scene
stuck on his backside.
There's no prize for guessing
where the fox was going to hide.

Heave and haul away etc

Night times at the wheel -
how my heart would sing with joy
Alone with just the stars
and a simple cabin boy.
So heave away me hearties
for England we shall steer
Then come and dance the hornpipe
but don't get too damn near

Heave and haul away etc

But I've never been a sailor,
it was not the life for me.
A humble civil servant
is all I'll ever be.
Instead I'll grow a beard
cup one hand around my ear.
And sing a load of nonsense
just like we're doing here.


Yes I'll strut around in jeans
with a gold ring in my ear
and sing a load of nonsense
just like we're doing her

Heave and haul away etc

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