Man, my heart really goes out to you. My Mother is closing in on her 98th birthday and in some ways is stronger than my older sisters. It is very painful to project myself into the situation that you found yourself in, and I really appreciate your sharing your experiences with me.
May we all go like my Father. When my Father was a few weeks short of 93, and still living in an apartment with my Mother and healthy enough to get around well, he had a heart attack early one morning. He'd had smaller attacks before... I was even there when he had one and his speach became incomprehensible for about a minute. This was a scary one though, and my Mother called the health care center. They sent a couple of nurses over to the apartment and called for an ambulance. In the meantime, my Father was comfortable, leaning back in his easy chair and cracking jokes to make the nurses and my Mother relax. And then suddenly, the big one came, he pitched over onto the floor and was gone. My Father came as close to dying, laughing as anyone I've ever heard of.