Thank you Jerry. It would have been nice if my mother and father would have gone that way too, but they didn't and won't.

COPD/emphesyma is the 4th leading cause of death in the US today. It just isn't realistic anymore to "wish" that we won't have to deal with these scenarios.

Your sister and brother in law are in that scenario now, so perhaps you can share some information with them and give them encouragement to seek out hospice professionals. They may very well need it. Maybe not immediately, but they should be planning for it now. It will make everything so much easier, better, etc if they do.

Guilt over decisions made/not made by surrogate decision makers can be devastating, particularly when combined with grief. Hospice professionals can really help a tremendous amount with both.