Okay. Here are the words I got from the Essential Women of Blues CD, recording by Ruth Brown. According to Wilhelm, this was first written by Georgia White, but I didn't find her name on the CD cover (If you want to see how NOT to design your CD cover, get this CD. Terrible graphics.)

The credit for this one says, "(Hill/Razaf) Joe Davis Music, Inc. ASCAP"

IF I CAN'T SELL IT
as recorded by Ruth Brown

(Spoken)
I own a second hand furniture store
And I think my prices are fair.
But this real cheap guy came in one day
Saw this chair he wanted to buy
But he wouldn't — claimed the price was too high.
So I looked him straight in the eye,
And this was my reply...

If I can't sell it, I'm gonna sit down on it.
I ain't gonna give it away.
Now darlin, if you want it, you gonna have to buy it.
And I mean just what I say.

Now how would you like to find this
Waitin' at home for you every night?
Only been used once or twice,
but it's still nice and tight.

So if I can't sell it ... etc.

Now you can't buy a better of legs in town,
And a back like this? Not for miles around.
And that is why

If I can't sell it ... etc.

Because it's made for comfort,
Built for wear and tear.
Where else would you find such an easy chair?

It's lush, plush, slick and sleek
Darlin,' a high-class piece like this
At any price is cheap,
So if I can't sell it ... etc.

Now look at this nice bottom.
Ain't it easy on the eye?
Guaranteed to support
Any weight or size.

If I can't sell it ...
(Instrumental lead)

Now I have really had my fill
of folks coming around
with their hands stuck out
wanting something and they don't want to give up nothing.
Now put your hand in your stash
and bring up some cash

'Cause if I can't sell it, .... etc.

So there you go -- WW

---

from Joe Offer (27 Nov 2015): This page (click) says lyrics for "If I Can't Sell It, I'll Keep Sittin' on It" were written by Andy Razaf, with music by Alex Hill - first recorded by Georgia White in 1936.