My lover came to see me;
I served him my very best!
Cappucino and a Scottish scone
Most elegantly pressed

He kissed me before eating
And in a manly show
He shoved that whole scone down his hatch
The whole thing in one go.

The crumbs they flew like fireflies
All across my kitchen floor
His shirtfront with them was covered up
Sure half a pound, or more!

He held me hard when parting
It made my heart to throb
I could scarcely to speak to tell him he
Was a true, God-awful slob.