Okay, put this to music:

I'd rather suck a rat's ass
or eat a peck of dirt
than make up stupid rhymes
'bout fuckin' crumbs upon a shirt.

I'd rather have a cattle prod
inserted in my bum
than generate some drivel
'bout a shirt covered in crumbs.

I'd rather drink raw sewage
from a scabbous leper's shoe
than write of crumbs upon a shirt.
That's one thing I won't do!

Of shirts and crumbs I will not write!
No, not a single word!
I'd rather suck a monkey's nose
and eat a camel turd!