Well I hesitate to post to this prior to the actual event as that would be premature, but Heather informs me that IS one of your traits, so..........

I also consulted the early edition of the paper for your horoscope in hopes that it would be accurate and found this:

"Born today you are a miserable pissant with no redeeming social value whatsoever. You are generous to a fault, of which, you have many. Your passion for all things artistic is overshadowed by your complete lack of talent for anything more difficult than passing copious quantities of sulphurous flatulence. You are narrow minded, completely bigoted, and steadfast in your maintenance of opinions shared only by Pakistani Dung Merchants and a pants presser in Conshohocken, Pennsylvania, named Ignatz. Give up."

Isn't it amazing how accurate those things are? In any case, your half brothers Reg, Reg, and Reg all send along their best. Sorrowfully, they are all in jail at the moment after setting up a shack and drilling numerous holes on the new Ice Rink in Columbus, explaining to the arresting officer they were just ice fishing. They would have gotten off with a warning had not one of their holes penetrated a gas main. Even this wouldn't have been a major problem had not Paw and Cletus been along and were entertaining the Reg boys with a fart lighting performance which ended with an explosion taking out 2 square blocks of downtown Columbus. Typically, none of them, although hospitalized at the jail infirmary, will believe that they were NOT on a lake and DID rupture a gas line. Cletus just lays there saying, "Damn,what a doozie."

So Happy Birthday to you and my best to Heather as she certainly needs it. And Heather, if he begins backing up to the cake, stand clear......and whack him soundly with an imploded 12 string.

Spaw