Sans fakes, I have the same hand configuration -- longish nails on the right hand, clipped short on the left plus heavy calluses on the left fingertips and the edge of the right thumb. I started playing the guitar at about the age of 15, and I'm 50 now. In all that time, the only people who have ever commented on the state of my hands were my husband ("Doesn't that hurt?") and other players of stringed instruments ("Nice calluses!") But then, I'm an editor, a trade with very little hands-on contact with clients.

Rather than worry about what people think of your sex life, try promoting your musical interests. Decorate your waiting area and examining rooms with pictures of guitars and guitarists -- I'll bet your staff and patients would rather look at Segovia, John Renbourne or Eric Clapton than drug company posters any day. Keep a guitar in your office, perhaps hanging tastefully on the wall where it's handy for 15 minutes of Fernando Sor after your snatched sandwich between patients and follow-up phone calls. Then, when people look squiggle-eyed at your falsies, just cock your thumb at ol' Segovia or play a bar or two of air guitar -- and 'nuff said.

Another thing: Anybody who would make a remark like that to your wife has said a hell of a lot more about him/herself than about you! But you knew that.

Best wishes and keep a-pickin'!