Disgusting! All these thespians coming out of the closet, practicing their horrid and unnatural practices before everybody, degrading themselves in public! Yeah, yeah, some people say it's genetic, but WE know better! As it says in the Bible or somewhere. PREverts, that's what they are! And I should know, for I once had top billing in Shaw's "Androcles." But I have since seen the light and been converted and...what? my own BROTHER?!...awards for his thespianism? BOTH brothers? AND my very own FATHER?? Well! You just can't tell, can you? Those thespians must be awfully wonderful people and should be encouraged.

Break a leg, Doc.