MaineDog's contribution is indeed a keeper, as my wife assures me over my shoulder, but yes, this is a serious Lyr Req. I suspect that the lyrics I'm looking for are the ones Dr Demento recorded, but that is not the same as having the lyrics. Chords etc. would be welcome too, but the lyrics are the thing.

PS Before we met, Paula had a bumper sticker that read "Single Girls Can't Fart — You Have to Be Married to Have an Asshole", but that's not the lyrics I want either.

Haruo