Okay, here goes:

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Girls Don't Fart

Strangely Brown
transcribed from a sound file at the Doctor Demento Show website

You take the first four letters of farther
and then you jettison the "H E R",
'Cause everybody knows that girls don't fart
no matter who they think they are
We guys can sit around drinkin brewskies,
Make the spiders bark all night long,
But the ladies won't even let 'em out of the'n gates
And that's-a why I sing this song,

Let me tell ya now,
Girls don't fart, they never () or () or (   )
They ain't got the rhythm,
they ain't got it in 'em to perform this manly art

Everybody sing, Girls don't fart,
You never hear 'em go () or (    ) ,
Well at least that's what my mamma said,
And my mamma's pretty smart. yeah.

{whistling interlude}

Well a girl can eat a jumbo burrito,
and follow that with a cabbage stew
But bless my hogs, you won't even get
a little ( ) a-all night through
Now if some guy had-n that kind-n dinner
He'd blow the covers offa the bed
And then light a match. blow the house apart, and
Wind up sleepin' in the shed
Lemme tell ya now, Girls don't fart ()()
They would never () or (   )
They ain't got the faintest, got the apparatus,
those cheeks won't never part,

Everybody sing, Girls don't fart
You never catch 'em goin' () () ()
No ifs ands or buts they'll keep that aperture shut,
and that'n takes a lot of heart.
Play it Jimmy,
{guitar interlude}

Now a man's biggest social disaster
is a fart with a lump inside
This is called a surprise by high-falutin' guys,
and it really can destroy one's pride
But women don't have this-a worry,
and this-a song is-a proof of it
'Cause Oh, by the way I forgot to say that
Girls don't s*h#i@t (toilet flushing)

Everybody now, Girls don't fart
Hey, what is a goin' on here?
But my mamma told me
Girls don't fart
Oh my, what a gaseous display
well, At least that's what my mamma said
as a mystery fragrance filled my head
And the dog he'n just keeled over dead
But I still believe her, cause you gotta believe your mamma...
Girls don't fart.

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The italicized words are ones where I'm not too sure of the transcription. In the case of "faintest" because that's what it sounds like but it doesn't make sense to me; in the case of the latter part, because there's too much background sound effects that I can't adequately transcribe.

I am now downloading a Boca Brian one to see if there are significant variations.

Haruo