Hence, I always follow the advice given in song, and 'have a shufti before I have a pee'...

There is a story that has passed into folklore and urban legend about a certain Morris dancer who, whilst seated for a 'performance' one night, felt a whiffling breeze around his nethers, got up, looked down and found a large rat in the bowl. This incident was later imortalised in tune form by Gas Mark 5, on their album 'Guizers'.

Said toilet was later destroyed in an incident with a rat, a 12bore shotgun and a large amount of alcohol.

It is true, I know the Morris Dancer involved....

LTS