If you go to this page: http://www.rolfharrisjukebox.com/everywhere.html, you will see a crude animation of Rolf Harris, and hear his recording of I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE which uses mainly British place names (but I think I hear at least one Irish one). (The joke in verse 4 is that the names are Welsh, although he calls them Scottish.) I've got a good chunk of it transcribed, but many names still elude me. Here goes:

[Slow tempo at first:]
Well, I've been ev'rywhere.

I was drivin' my minimotor way down by the sea
When a scruffy-lookin' hitchhiker thumbed a lift from me.
I said, "Hop up inside, boy. Where you plan to go from there?"
He says, "I don't give a continental, castle boy (?), 'cause I've been ev'rywhere."

[Speeding up:]
One, two, one two three four.

CHORUS: I've been ev'rywhere, man.
I've been ev'rywhere, man.
Never a trouble or care, man.
I've never paid me fare, man,
And of travel I've had me share, man.
I've been ev'rywhere.

1. Been to Bradford, Guildford, Dartford, Littlehampton,
Bedford, ...ford, Hereford, Wolverhampton,
Shrewsbury, Canterbury, Asbury, Liverpool,
..., ..., ..., ...,
Whitehall, Bramhall, ..., ...,
Newport, Southport, ...port, ...port. CHORUS

2. Been to Farnborough, Edinburgh, Peterborough, ...,
..., Loughborough, Scarborough, ...,
..., ..., ..., l...,
..., ..., ..., Tipperary
Hempstead, Wanstead, ...stead, Woodstock,
B..., ..., ..., ...ock. CHORUS

SPOKEN: Change here.

3. Been to Weymouth, Yarmouth, Bournemouth, Huddersfield,
Lewisham, Faversham, Portesham, Sheffield,
E..., ..., Southend, ...head,
Birmingham, Nottingham, D...ham, Holyhead,
Cambridge, Tonbridge, Knightsbridge, ...,
Edgware, ...ware, Carstairs, who cares? CHORUS

4. SLOWLY, HESITATINGLY: I've been—to—hey, this is difficult!—I've been to—
Llandudno—Llanelli—...—...—...
SPOKEN: No, it's no use. I'll never get those Scottish place names in a million years. Let's get back to the English version.

5. BACK TO FAST TEMPO: I've been to Westminster, Southminster, Kidderminster, ...,
Eastbourne, ...bourne, ..., Paddington,
Bolton, Paignton, Stockton, Inverness,
R...wick, ...wick, Chiswick, Dungeness
Mansfield, Sheffield, Enfield, ...,
..., ..., ..., .... CHORUS

I've been here, there, ev'rywhere.
I've been ev'rywhere.

* * *
p.s. I wish I could figure out how to play the audio file directly using RealPlayer (or Media Player, or Winamp) because that would give me the ability to stop the song anywhere and replay just the parts that are difficult to understand, but as it is, all I can do is hear the entire song, from beginning to end, over and over. Any ideas?