An old soldier reports to St. Petr, at the Pearly Gates. Immediately he is transferred to hell.
"Since you are such an old soldier having done honourable service you are entitled to choose your special kind of hell" the devil says. "We have the politicians' hell, the media hell, Hollywood hell, sports hell and so on", and he describes all sorts of cruel tortures a damned soul might be submitted to in the different departments.
"And maybe you'd like the Army Hell. Here you will be thrown to a red hot gridiron, basted with boiling oil, and lit up with a match."
The soldier decides to join his squaddies in the army hell. He is led before a big door through which he heard a big noise. When entering he saw a wide hall crossed by a long bar beleaguered by all kinds of soldiers in every nation's uniforms, singing and drinking to the devil's health. Immediately he is offered a beer
"Where am I here?"
"In the Army Hell."
"But I thought I'd be thrown upon a red hot gridiron, basted with boiling oil, and lit up with a match?"
"Oh man, you're in the Army Hell! Gridirons are with reservation, matches are bottleneck, and when both are available at the same time, the gridirons are away for maintenance!"