He began as a hopeful, nameless barbarian with dreams of being another Alexander or Hannibal. An elephant stepped on his head, ending the dreams.
As fate and reincarnation would have it, he next became aware of his crustaceous self in the lobster tank of Cap'n Dan's Seafood. Ever enthusiastic, even with eyes on stems, he followed his warrior's heart.
Ten minutes of carnage later, Bisque the Conqueror squealed as he was dropped in boiling water.
Unsure of what to do with him after that, the gods gave him the janitor position. He conquered the bathrooms and finally knew simple happiness.

(too much Terry Pratchett I know {O) Maybe I'll put up something serious too just to balance it out)