Could this be the guy I met on country trains platform at Central? We were both in a queue to nowhere, waiting with our bags and bush hats, to buy tickets to our Easter getaways. He reckoned he was going to Canberra for music - what an airhead - Canberra? He talked about music of the spheres, I could see he was a one. I was getting my usual ticket to Byron for the Blues festival - music of the beers. We got talking, it was a long queue.

He said the refusal to sign the Kyoto Protocol was deliberate criminal environmental vandalism - Australia is the world's worst greenhouse gas polluter per capita because of its heavy use of coal-burning power stations. He said get to the mountains, the temperatures are going up, the sea is rising, there will be tsunamis, melting of the ice caps, and a pole shift.

Pole shift? He reckons that Alice Springs will be the new St Moritz, and that people will be ski-jumping from Uluru to the Kimberleys. Southern Britain and China will go under, Atlantis will rise again. He was moving to the Glasshouse Mountains - said the hole in the ozone layer was so big, aliens were falling through it.

what a froot loop. I offered him some Minties, told him that there was no way I'd give up my Bondi apartment to live in a solar-powered teepee, and that the shopping in Sydney was too good. I'd rather learn to surf - I could ride any tsunami out to the Blue Mountains and back, and pick up a few stray plastic bags on the way, doing my bit for the environment.

Well, despite being delusional, it's a long ride up to Byron, and the queue for this train tickets was getting longer, not shorter. Damn Michael Costa - at least Mussolina made the trains run on time. He kept jabbering, and the next thing I know, he's talked me into butying a ticket to Canberra for the National Folk Festival. Anything to avois that overnight train trip to Byron.

Said something about a guinness tent and pffofferjjees - sounds like a new extinct species of native animal. Anyway, thinking about the tsunami and all, I decided to buy a raincoat on my way home. Could come in handy.

I'll be looking out for him in the session bar. He owes me a drink.