Kim C

Like you I do not have all the facts - only those we have been allowed to know.

I can understand that you have an ambivalent impression of Michael but try putting yourself in his shoes. He is in a very ambivalent position himself. His wife 'died' 15 years ago, yet she is not dead because she is being kept artificially 'alive'. He is not free to act as though she is dead but, for Terri's sake he will not divorce her because that would be betrayal. In all probablility Terri had also said something along the lines of "If I die please feel free to marry again" only he can't do that because although she has 'died' yet legally she is 'alive'.

The "power struggle" is not of his making. It is the interference of her family - Christian (and Jewish) teaching is that when people marry they leave their parents and become one together. Unless they have some proof that he illtreated her (or according to MG he tried to kill her) they actually have no authority to interfere.

I did not say that you had called Michael a liar. However, to refuse to accept his word about her wishes is to imply it whether deliberately or not. No, it was not you who mentioned religion - I was refering to her parents and others. If he is not telling the truth then the burden of proof is on those who disbelieve him - not on him to prove that he is telling the truth. You say "we have no way of confirming that." We also have no way of proving it to be untrue. Must we, then, keep Terri in limbo untill she dies of old age? Unless we can prove he is lying we must believe him. That is our normal way of dealing with people - why should not Michael have the same right as the rest of us to be believed?

Whether you post to the thread or not is your decision but in dealing with situations like this - on or off the board - please try to realise that many, many people have been through similar positions. In my case, Chris' death was so sudden and unexpected that, after a night of watching her die, I then had (at 5 a.m.) to face the police whose job was to discover whether or not I had murdered her. They obviously didn't like the situation any more than I but that's the law (in the UK) where sudden death is concerned. You can understand why I got heated? Please have great sensitivity for the spouse in such cases. It isn't easy for them at the best of times but to have relatives interfering makes life so much harder.

Frank L.