Transcribed from an archived radio program: Minnesota Public Radio's Morning Show, Wednesday, June 2, 2004. Click here to play. The song begins 9 minutes and 25 seconds from the beginning of the program.

INCOMMUNICADO
(Peter and Lou Berryman)

Take me as I should be, honey, and when you think of me way back when,
You won't get bitter if you consider you took me as I should have been;
And I don't take much to sulkin' when a romance goes amiss,
But if you leave me here, think of me, dear, sittin' home alone like this:

Gonna keep my eyes shut, my mouth shut,
Stick my fingers in my ears, plug up my nose,
Put the dog out, put the lights out,
Lock the door up, shut the window down,
Get the intravenous system, hook it from my arm
To a bottle of whiskey 'bout the size of a barn.
Gonna set there like a stump, incommunicado.

I'm gonna let my Ma down, my Pa down,
Quit my job, eat like a bird,
Kick my shoes off, pull my socks off,
Burn my radio, burn the TV set,
Sink my automobile, let the thing go down,
Leave all my money just a-lyin' around.
Gonna set there like a stump, incommunicado.

I'll never get my hair cut, my face washed.
I'll smell like a skunk, look like a dog.
Gonna oxidize, deteriorate,
Hallucinate, lose weight.
I'm gonna pine away, attract disease.
The only time you'll hear me's when I cough and sneeze.
Gonna set there like a stump, incommunicado.

I'm gonna let the maid go, the cook go,
The butler go, the chauffeur go,
Let my lease lapse, cut my yacht loose,
Let my Cessna rust, my sauna crack,
Get old Ma Bell to disconnect my phone,
Put a sign on the door sayin', "He ain't home."
Gonna set there like a stump, incommunicado.
Gonna set there like a stump, incommunicado.

[Recorded by Peter and Lou Berryman on "Cupid's Trash Truck," Mountain Railroad Records, 1981.]