When I organised my mother's funeral, I had to disregard one of her wishes (to be transported in a cardboard box in a Transit van - too hard to get sorted in a couple of days in what for us was deep snow!), but I did make sure that there was no priest at the cremation ceremony. This meant I had to write and do the oration, and I chose music from one of her favourite bands for a time of reflection after I had spoken. Most of those present would have been horrified if they'd known what the band was - http://www.metalstorm.ee/bands/view_albums.php?band_id=anathema
Anathema are now more Goth, but then they were Death Metal (appropriate?). The track I used, 'Dreaming: The Romance' is one of the most beautiful bits of music I've heard. Wouldn't mind it myself, or Arvo Part (with an umlaut on the Part)'s Cantus in Memoriam Benjamin Britten. Can't stand BB, but love the Cantus. And then a short session, and on to the pub for a longer one.