NEW WORDS FOR 2005 - Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:


BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps allover everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing the boss' butt rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying
but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Anna Nichol show
or the Bachelor is a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of
an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above
the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found" (meaning that the requested document, like the person's
brain, could not be located).

GENERICA: Features of the North American landscape that is exactly
the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitious flatulence while passing thru a cube farm,
or any other public place, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and
disgust (this often leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING).

And lest we forget:

ANAL GLAUCOMA: Used as an excuse for not showing up for work. Translation
"I just couldn't see my a** coming in to work today."

Bill