I've never understood a lot of comments about hostile sessions, Michelle, as I have had few problems and it isn't because I'm a great player because I'm not - there are much better players than me in just about every session I go to...

My favourite session round here doesn't have the best of reputations and some will have it that it is snobbish or elitist but I was welcomed when I first went there I guess about 4 years ago. I suppose its fair to say that it is not a beginners' session (by that I mean maybe they would slow a couple of tunes down for someone starting to learn but generally speaking tunes run at a reasonable "danceable" pace) and it contains some excellent players but that is about it.

I do wonder at times whether people sometimes alienate themselves (eg. demanding a song in a purely instrumental session or perhaps demonstrating to everyone how "good" they are - "showing off" is not always appreciated) or expect too much of a welcome at once.

I say I was welcomed (as I was) but it took time. The first week, probably the most encouraging sign was that I was shown no hostility and people did say "hello" and "goodnight", the second week, they got me to start a couple of tunes a bit more conversation, and things built up gradually until these people became good friends. I'd not been able to get to a session since Christmas until last week and I was greeted to hugs and handshakes and even got a ticking off from one because I had arrived without my banjo.

I think what I'm trying to say is I think at times you do have to remember that you are a newcomer in an estabished group (in this case, some have known each other for more than 20 years) and they might be as nervous of you as you are of them. Had I read the first week as "well noone really said much to me and they didn't go 'wow we have a new player'" and decided that meant I wasn't really wanted, I'd have missed out on good music and good company.

I suppose ideally it is better if people are made to feel that little bit more wanted from day one but on top of everything else I said, I don't think all sessions contain the sort of extrovert character to do that.