Bonnie the small Dane - she'd only be about 8 or 9 stone (about 120 lbs). Small and dainty for a Great Dane. Rescue. Sort of leans on things. Getting old now, but so beautiful and graceful (honestly) when younger, fast as a greyhound with those endless legs (but stop and swerve were unknown functions, so small trees used to get a bashing). All blonde apart from the "panda" eye make up, a bit like Dusty Springfield, except that DS did not have black lips and muzzle too.

Jacqui C has seen her in action. Foolish friend brought his Jack Russell (sort of large rat sized and not trained in any respect) to a barbecue, and proceeded (some people are so stupid) to put down a bit of meat for it, right in front of Bonnie. Despite her size, Bonnie could be quick. She leant down, picked the rat up by the middle, carefully put it to one side (as it cried) without marking it anywhere, leant back and ate the bit of meat. Her territory.

The other one is Benjamin who is border collie/lab (probably) and also rescue. Very much the border collie temperament. Being "number two dog" in the pack he guards his status like anything, and is the edgy one of the two. If a burglar came in Bonnie would sit on him while Ben nibbled the edges and tore bits off, I reckon. Too many brains for his own good, and sometimes so desperate to try to talk, he sits or stands and tries to modulate growls and yaps, but a dog does not have the muscles or bony bits that enable speech, and it takes a while to get to know him so that you can hear the difference (which I can), with a result that quite a few people think he is being aggressive when he is simply trying to communicate. Throw sticks for him and he is in heaven. Try to leave them behind and he carries them home - and if he can't find a small one I have seen him manage a small chunk of tree about 8 feet long and four to five inches in diameter. Neck muscles like Lou Ferrigno (amazing Hulk, if you don't get the reference at once). Collars simply slide straight from his shoulders off his nose. Might be 75 lbs, but regrettably the terror of the neighbourhood, and I have to be very careful when walking him to avoid other dogs.   Despite his other intelligence he will not accept that seagulls fly but he can't and he has been known to chase a flock of seagulls for several miles if I don't get the recall command in before he has gone 30 feet, although in most other situations he is really obedient.

And talk about calculating! One time another dog (about his size)tried to take his stick. I have to admit Ben was rougher than required (just one bite, but it was enough), and so fast I did not see it at the time, but two hours later the other dog's owner was at my door with a very large vet's bill. Her insurance covered most of it, but she had to make a police report to claim, and when the dog warden came round, crafty Benjamin knew he was in trouble, and did such an impersonation of a Crufts obedience champion (sat when the warden came in, silenced on command, lay on command, left the room on command, eventually went on his bed on command, and sat there looking sheepish) that the dog warden left saying "I wish all the dogs I saw were so well behaved".