Dick o' the Cow is longer than Tam Lin. But what has brought on the IFS? (It is IFS not IRS, isn't it?) Is it a surfeit or a dearth that has caused it? Or has he been forced to listen to two CDs of Dick Gaughan - or even worse, Pat Boone? Is he a smoker and smoking has just been banned at the club? Is he a non-smoker and they WON'T ban smoking at the club? Or did some Morris dancers pick him as the virgin required to revive their 'deceased' colleague with a kiss? More details, please before an accurate summation can be made and remedies prescribed.