Just located (noticed) this thread and I was going to offer a ditty my dad often used to sing to himself about: "The dirty little pill rolled over the hill; and rolled right into the bunker . . . " but someone beat me to it (Flash - as quick as the name suggests).

However. I do recall this lilting definition which I picked up from somewhere about a lifetime ago (when I actually played golf as a youngster): It goes

"GOLF - An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose"

Interesting to note, too that the name golf is in fact an acronym of the original name / ethos of the game. The letters G.O.L.F. actually stood for (at the games' inception) Gentlemen Only; Ladies Forbidden.

Whichever way you paly it - it still comes out as George Bernard is credited as having described it: "A good walk ruined!"

Besides, the snobby course managers won't let me bring my two favourite clubs along - A Cricket bat and a Stihl chainsaw.