"Under The Sea..."

A number of Primary Schools were doing a project
on "The Sea." Kids were asked to draw pictures or
write about their experiences. Teachers got together
to compare the results and put together some of the
comments that were funny and some that were sad.
Here are some of them. The kids were all aged
between 5 and 8 years. . . . . .

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)

Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you
don't have sea all round you, you are in continent.
(Wayne age 7)

I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth,
just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any
more. (Kylie age 6)

A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of
its head. (Billy age 8)

My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes
back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade
winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the
wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make
the wind come. My brother said they would be better
off eating beans. (William age 7)

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their
shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen
age 6)

I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother
is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps
shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got
pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric
eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves
under the sea where I think they have to plug
themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

My Mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish.
(Laura age 5)

When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold,
and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the
summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and
watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend.
It was fun. (Lauren age 7)

A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it
has lots of seamen inside. (Emma age 5)

When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship,
and have lots of sailors. (Valerie age 6)

Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.
Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go
down on each other. (Becky age 8)

On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off
when she was going very fast. She says she won't
do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie
age 7)

Dave Oesterreich