My Mother taught me LOGIC - "If you fall off that swing
and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE - "If you don't stop
crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD - "If you don't
pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't
you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE - "What
were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...
Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn mower
cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

Dave Oesterreich