Help for Mudcat Conservatives;

The Program:



Step 1: Admitting that you've really messed up this Country.
       This is the first step for every fundamentalist Conservative on the way to recovery. It is important to understand that you're not compassionate, moderate or in touch with reality. You're a psuedo Facist, and you need to be honest with yourself about that fact.



Step 2: Pledge to support your beliefs with facts
       Realize that TRUTH IS more important than your moral superiority and is the only way to come over to reality. You must research beyond propaganda from Tom De Lay, Rush Limbaugh, Karl Rove and Fox News to understand things as they really exist in the world. You can no longer argue based on hallucinations and hysterical Political blindness. You will actually need to back up your arguments with real information as the WMD incidents have shown you. This is a difficult step, because it means you can't blame Liberals any more. Your Politicians lie and People die.



Step 3: Love America
       This may be the most difficult step for those of you who are Capitalists. Admitting that the country you pretend to Love is now hated because of this Administration's actions throughout the world. Now this may have made some of you physically and mentally ill. You might want to make a visit to a military cemetery to better understand that these men and women who gave their lives so that you could spew hatred to people of other faiths and Cultures were mostly Reserves, they didn't have a choice in the matter. Some even went to War in Vehicles with plywood armor. You are currently very close to living in a police state that is attempting to make you hate all Beliefs, Religious and Political, and Races expect your own great white way and may arrest you if you speak out against your government's attempts to hack apart the Constitution of this wonderful Democracy of Ours called America.



Step 4: Take a college level economics and English class
            Remember.. "no child left behind"   well it's actually no funding left for education.
Then write a fearless "MORAL" economic inventory of the mess this current administration has made of this Country in just five Years. oh and find out the difference between Socialism and Communism...it's really sad when you show that your lack of education on that one....or where you the Child that got left behind that day in class?



Step 5: Say Yes" to Humanitarianism and Socialism
       While this concept is obvious to most of the free world, it is an important step in your recovery process. If you have difficulty with this step, spend a Year living and working in a Low Income Slum in say, Chicago. Get sick, go to the ER tell them your Child is sick have no money or Health Insurance....get back to us on that one.



Step 6: Corporations are not all evil but some are.
       If you're reading this article online or in an e-mail, it's thanks to corporations. If you get some kind of paycheck, you can thank corporations if you happen to work for one. If you work for a non-profit or the government, you still have to thank corporations. The non-profit sector and the government wouldn't have any money to pay you without corporations and Tax payers cash, remember the Government are public servants and we pay them,. It is also important that you understand that making a profit doesn't equate to "greed" or exploitation. Just ask a small, non coporate, Business owner with 3 or 4 well looked after Staff. Evil enters the Corporate picture in many guises ie: when Corporations send their work overseas to be produced by slave labor, often children working for a Year to earn what some of the lowest ranking Corporate executives earn in a morning and American workers lose their jobs because of these moves. Capitalism has created the greediest society in our world's history. Even communist countries need corporations to survive now..., so enjoy a nice, hot cup of reality. If there's a problem.....we are part of it. Take responsibility for creating such gross imbalances in our Society.



Step 7: The government is inefficient
       If you are one of those Conservatives who believe the government should tax the rich less and the working Folk more you really need to pay special attention to this step. You need to realize that government bureaucracy will waste most of your tax dollars, while the private sector will put their tax breaks to much better use, tax free donations to Political causes and pork barrel issues. Even most Democrat politicians understand this to some degree, which is why Hillary Clinton's healthcare proposal (inspired by Healthcare systems which work very well in other Countries that have implemented Socialist values into their workings for the good of all their people) was voted down by a majority of both Democrats and Republicans. There is no money to back it now the rich pay less tax than the average person...and of course the rising National Debt doesn't help there. I mean why introduce something that gives Healthcare to all. Better to send our Seniors into Canada, who has a NHS, and get their Medications there cheaper!!! Go to your local ER and see how many people just can't afford Healthcare in the most medically advanced Country in the World!



Step 8: The earth is your " Home," and it's being drained and sucked dry of it's resources.
       The time has now come to start your donations to Greenpeace, The Sierra Club, and every other Conservation organization to which you can belong. Face the reality that the earth, society, and our environment are far worse off today than ever in recorded history and that the actual figures supporting these facts continue to show a desperate decline. I realize that many of you SUV, Snowmobile, ATV huggers will have a very difficult time letting go of the Ski Doo on this one. I would suggest reading The Skeptical Environmentalist by Bjorn Lomborg. Mr. Lomborg is a former member of Greenpeace and is currently a statistics professor at Aalborg University in Denmark. He set out to prove the world was in bad shape and ended up surprising himself by taking on a study for a few large Corporations which helped in proving the exact opposite.. It will amaze you to know how by using totally inaccurate statistics you can twist even an moderately rated Academic mind like Lomborg's.



Step 9: Stop smoking anything and cut down on the Alcohol and red meat.
       Okay, some of you might need to enter another 12-step program to complete this step. Marijuana and Alcohol and Fox News is distorting your sense of reality, and you need to stop using it. Besides, you'll save a fortune on snacks, Pay per View Nascar Races and Wrestling matches. Hippies realized this a long time ago ( they became enlightened) that's why they moved on and became Politicians, small Business owners and Computer Techs and Lecturers, Writers, Artists, Songwriters and Performers, Teachers and amazing Academics and a host of wonderful contributors to American Society. So if you need help with these issues talk to someone who has been there done that , talk to an old Hippy...they will be happy to set you straight. Also you could call the White House as it is possible the President at one point may have had some experience in this area.



Step 10: Eat a Veggi Burger now and again
       You can put tomatoes and pickle on the Veggi burger,. You'll look and feel better than you ever imagined. You can always remind yourself that Mother Teresa and Ghandi were vegetarians to get you through this step. Then again if you wish to go for a Meat Diet... just look at George and Laura Bush and Karl Rove...... remember you are what you eat so if you really want to look like a Steer's Ass go right on chomping down on the red blood highway...but then diet is a choice not always a political statement...just a dietary one. You got to Love a Country where you actually have a choice of Foods....some places are starving while we are throwing out daily what would sustain the World's Poor and Starving nations. While obesity is on the rise in children in the USA...yeah Maw throw another Burger on the Grill and some fries too...



Step 11: Stop re-writing political history
       It's now time to admit that Bill Clinton shagged an intern and lied, Nothing new there. Presidents did it (some even had Children by their Mistresses) and some Senators did it (and has children by their Mistresses) some are still doing it...it''s all a question of remembering that what goes around comes around so when one of your own is targeted don't get all whinny and say it's a Democratic conspiracy...nope it's just plain old...f**k ya....ya hypocrites. Al Gore did NOT lose the 2000 election, plain and simple, Gorbachov ended the Cold War and Reagan helped him out on that particular Political piece of History by taking Air Force One to Berlin and grabbed a photo op of him saying "tear down these walls"! duh wasn't that what the East was planning to do anyway? Reagan also played a massive role in creating the homeless problem and bringing us Star Wars (not the Movie)    John McCain is unfortunately not a typical Republican, you all should listen to this Man you might learn something...about Moral fiber and Honesty, serving your Country and bi partisanship, and Jimmy Carter is a Good man but has one of the less note worthy presidential records but not as downright disgusting as Richard Nixon's legacy obviously. Yes Carter's Presidency wasn't remarkable, I mean apart from getting the hostages released and never getting the credit for it and since leaving office has worked tirelessly to house thousands of Families ( some that Reagan's policies helped onto the streets) through Habitat for Humanity. Reagan however got an Airport named after him and an Air Craft carrier...way to go Ronnie.
I suppose both serve the public but one of these things requires daily effort. You figure out which one!



Step 12: Be an REAL American
       Once you have completed the previous steps to overcoming the disturbing view of what it takes to be a Conservative, it's time for you to share this awakening with others who are not as fortunate. Go out amongst Bush's sheep and spread the good word of your freedom from the chains of ignorance that once bound you to your right wing, fundamentalist thinking patterns. While your at it...look at this abuse of the 12 step program issue...
There is no cure for the dis -ease of extreme Conservative thinking but by admitting that you actually know nothing about and care very little about the planet or the other people in it you are taking a tiny step towards becoming a real member of the Human race and a truly good Citizen of one of the Greatest Countries in the World...notice I say ONE of the greatest Countries.. not the only greatest...we just happen to have a Nuclear Power that is pretty intimidating. We used to have respect and a huge economic pull but the last 4 and one half years has done away with that completely.
Admit You are Powerless and you have made a fatal flaw by voting for this Administration...some elect them some reject them, but it is always wise to remember that we all pay them and they are in their particular jobs because they are Public SERVANTS...so don't get so hung up on the disrespect aspect.....The President is only a man not God's Rep on Earth and as such has to earn respect.....he has 3 and one half years left....and it is not looking to good to a lot of Folks here in this wonderful Country.